Sunday, January 17, 2010

graveyard shift

what a beautiful day.  because of my hermit-like status, i'm admiring the sunshine and breeze from my computer desk.  :)

this weekend, although not completely over, has felt a bit too short.  got some needed things done - laundry, cleaning... also got in some family visits as well.. mom, step-dad, grandma... good times.
i also visited my grandpa's grave.  it's almost been two years since he has passed.  its so strange. 

i go there to "visit", but don't know exactly what to do.  i probably was there for a tops of 10 mins.. and at least 5 of those were spent locating his actual plot.  when i finally found him, the first thing that caught my eye was his "neighbor's" flowers where knocked over.  i straightened them.  the second thing that popped out was the attached plot/name plate/tombstone thingy to his - my grandma's.  she is thankfully still alive and well, but they already have her names engraved, just with an open "death date".  i know this isn't completely uncommon...  infact, my family in ohio has the same thing w/ my grandparents there.  regardless if its "normal" or not... doesn't make it any less creepy/odd to me.

i kneel down.. kinda stare..  notice the browness of the grass from the cold snap we recently had.  then just kinda sat there thinking..  "papaw.. i dont know what to say..  i just came here to let you know i still think about you." 

i dont know.. it felt "right" for me.. but i'm  not sure what the "right" thing to do is, when you're visiting a grave.  

/random thought babble


Ashley said...

i agree, i feel like that is odd/weird too. and i feel bad because i don't know if i'll ever be able to plan for my 'future' like that. i feel bad because i don't want to just leave it to my family to deal with, which would be painful for them. i hate thinking about these things. i haven't visited a graveyard in so long.

imajeanyus said...

first off ashley, thank you for coming back and reading. you're my favoritest cousin ;) <3.

sad but true... i feel the same way at this point. death completely terrifies me.. and i HATE to even think about it. maybe i'll just hide a stash of money somewhere just for the purpose of them buying/arranging all of that stuff so i dont ever have to actually deal with it. *shudders even at the thought*